Author: The Collaborative Divorce Advantage



Endorsements for Ria’s Chapter: The Secret to Protecting Your Children from Divorce Fall-Out: The Collaborative Child Specialist

Ria, as I read your wonderful contribution to “The Collaborative Divorce Advantage,” I wanted to immediately share it with all my practitioner friends and all the unknown prospective clients with children. I loved your initial quote, which I have already shared with several local Child Specialists. Beautiful!

 – STU WEBB, Founder Father of Collaborative Law

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In complex and emotionally demanding situations, negative emotions can get in the way of effective decision-making and a necessary focus on long-term goals. And, few situations are as scary, sad, overwhelming emotionally and financially, and seem as threatening as impending divorce. Being self-righteous can seem more important than self-respect or our children’s well-being. In this chapter, Ria Severance shows you how to regain your self-respect while acting in the service of your values and goals, and not on behalf of your worst short-term, often vengeful, reactions. This is a must read for every adult with children who has even considered separation and divorce.

–Dr. Alan E. Fruzzetti, international DBT expert, researcher, and speaker, and author of “The High Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation.”

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In the “Collaborative Divorce Advantage,” Ria captures the contributions of the Child Specialist in a way that any parent undergoing divorce can understand.  She explains how children actually feel in divorce and how having a voice in an often “voiceless” process can make an incredible difference for a child.  If a parent going through divorce reads only one thing, I’d like it to be Ria’s chapter on the Child Specialist.  I plan to recommend this to every parent I work with in helping them understand how their choice of a Child Specialist can affect their children’s well-being for years to come.  

 –Nancy Ross, LCSW, BCD, Co-Author of “Divorce, A Problem to be Solved; Not a Battle to be Fought,” Co-creator of the Collaborative Interdisciplinary team concept, Collaborative Divorce Coach, Mediator, Trainer, Psychotherapist, & Collaborative Communication Specialist for Trusts & Estatesbsrcounselingservices.com/biographies

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In complex and emotionally demanding situations, negative emotions can get in the way of effective decision-making and a necessary focus on long-term goals. And, few situations are as scary, sad, overwhelming emotionally and financially, and seem as threatening as impending divorce. Being self-righteous can seem more important than self-respect or our children’s well-being. In this chapter, Ria Severance shows you how to regain your self-respect while acting in the service of your values and goals, and not on behalf of your worst short-term, often vengeful, reactions. This is a must read for every adult with children who has even considered separation and divorce.

 –Dr. Alan E. Fruzzetti, international DBT expert, researcher, and speaker, and author of “The High Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy and Validation.”

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In her chapter, Ria eloquently illuminates the child specialist’s pivotal role as the voice of the children and as the provider of related feedback to parents in a Collaborative Divorce. Ria brings to life how this often-gifted professional assists parents to break an impasse over shared parenting time, in favor of valuing their children’s wellbeing.

–Vicki Carpel-Miller, Collaborative Professional and Trainer, Author of “Just Stop!” series, “Secondhand Shock,” “Surviving and Overcoming Vicarious Trauma,” & “Secondhand Shock Workbook.”

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In this game-changing book, Ria Severance clearly and compassionately delineates the need for and powerful benefits of a Child Specialist during a Collaborative Divorce.  As an advocate for women and children and Executive Director of a nonprofit, I have witnessed first hand how divorce adversely impacts every aspect of a family’s life.  When children are involved, they are especially vulnerable to divorce-fallout, as they lack the emotional tools to navigate parental conflict and tension. The Collaborative Child Specialist’s mandate is to help parents consider their kids throughout the divorce – a gift to everyone in the family.

–Pauline Field, Business Consultant and Author of “Feisty & Fearless: Nice Girls CAN Be Leaders

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In my 27-year experience with Collaborative Practice, “The Collaborative Divorce Advantage” has the best treatment of process choice, financial, child specialist and divorce coach descriptions I have seen. Buy or steal this book and give it to every divorce practitioner and potential or current client.

 – Stu Webb, Founding Father of Collaborative Law

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Endorsements for “The Collaborative Divorce Advantage: Divorce Consciously to Protect Your Children and Avoid Financial & Emotional Bankruptcy”

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I strongly recommend that you read this book if you are heading into divorce or helping couples.  Coming at the tail end of a tunnel of heartache and failed efforts to reconcile, divorce has the potential to set the stage for both partners to chart a new course.  Yet divorce can be draining and acrimonious, with unmitigated loss and emotional suffering.  Collaborative Divorce is unique in calling upon partners to walk through the process with eyes open, defining and living into their higher values, while acquiring the skills needed to stick to those values.  Divorcing partners have the opportunity to manage emotional distress and hazardous relationship challenges wisely and skillfully, sparing their wallets and their restructuring family relationships for the future. 

 – Charles Swenson, M.D., Expert Trainer/Consultant/Author regarding Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Borderline Personality Disorder, Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of Massachusetts Medical School

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The Collaborative Divorce Advantage explains in a straightforward and wise manner how to divorce successfully.   The writing is friendly and clear — so many complex questions are seamlessly answered.  Our communities would be healthier if this simple material were more universally adopted.

 – Frederic Luskin, Ph.D., Author of “Forgive for Good

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I strongly recommend “The Collaborative Divorce Advantage” to anyone wanting to spare their family the pain and cost of the standard litigated divorce in family court. This little book is a short course in how to divorce collaboratively, including helpful guidance regarding finances, co-parenting and the emotional aspects of divorce.

– Bill Eddy is a family lawyer, therapist and mediator. He is the developer of the New Ways for Families skills training method and the author of several books, including “High Conflict People in Legal Disputes.” www.NewWays4Families.com.

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“The Collaborative Divorce Advantage” offers clients and therapists alike easy-to-understand, sound, legal alternatives to the high emotional and financial costs of litigated divorce. I will recommend The Child Specialist chapter to every divorcing parent I work with to help them understand how their choice of Child Specialist can impact their children’s wellbeing for years to come.

 – Nancy Ross, LCSW, BCD,  Co-Author of “Divorce, A Problem to be Solved; Not a Battle to be Fought,” Co-creator of the Collaborative Interdisciplinary team concept, Collaborative Divorce Coach, Mediator, Trainer, Psychotherapist, & Collaborative Communication Specialist for Trusts & Estates.  bsrcounselingservices.com/biographies

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If you’re even thinking about divorce . . . read this book! You’ll discover how a Collaborative Team will help you reach agreements that benefit you, your children, your partner, your wallet, your sanity and the quality of your co-parenting for years to come.

– Hal Bartholomew, JD and Founding President of Collaborative Practice California (cpcal.org)

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This book is a must-read for everyone considering divorce! As an advocate for women and children, and Executive Director of a nonprofit, I have witnessed the damaging fallout of an adversarial, litigated divorce — parents and children are often scarred for life.  Collaborative Divorce is a humane, game-changing way to transition families through divorce, and represents a paradigm shift in our culture’s compassion for divorcing families. Kudos to all the authors for this fact-filled, easy-to-read, difference-making book! 

– Pauline Field, Business Consultant and Author of “Feisty & Fearless: Nice Girls CAN Be Leaders.

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These authors have truly made their mark putting Collaborative Practice and Mediation at the top of the legal mountain for families. From cover to cover, an innovative and insightful must-read for all divorcing couples and the therapists serving them. The authors successfully challenge divorcing couples as well as divorce professionals to segue from litigation towards the world of Collaborative Divorce and Mediation.

– Fred Glassman, Family law attorney, Advocate for Collaborative Practice for decades, Author countless published articles on the subject, past President of Collaborative Practice California (CPCal), &  Los Angeles County Family Law Association (LACFLA), Recipient of numerous awards for his preeminent Collaborative Legal work. fglawcorp.com/attorneys/glassman

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Historically and still, in too many countries, women do not have the option to choose their partners, let alone divorce in a respectful way that considers the wellbeing of all family members, with a protective net cast around the children throughout the transition. This is a trail-blazing, important, must-read guide to creating workability for co-parents exiting a marriage that no longer works.  

– Ellen Snortland, lawyer, women’s rights activist, filmmaker and author of “Beauty Bites Beast: The Missing Conversation About Ending Violence.” www.beautybitesbeast.com

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I highly recommend this book to anyone considering a divorce and to family professionals! “The Collaborative Divorce Advantage” directly and concisely gives you what you need to make an informed choice about when and why to choose Collaborative Divorce or Mediation, and how to successfully navigate the process. 

– Forrest (Woody) Mosten, Family Law Specialist and Mediator, Los Angeles and Adjunct Professor of Law,  UCLA. Author of “Collaborative Law Handbook” (Wiley ,2009),  “Building a Successful Collaborative Practice” ( ABA, 2018 Forthcoming), “Complete Guide to Mediation” (2015, ABA) and “Mediation Career Guide” (Wiley 2001) and “Family Lawyer’s Guide to Unbundled Legal Services” (ABA, 2017, Forthcoming).

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The authors bring to light the dignity, humanity, and strengths of the Collaborative Divorce Process in this engaging and informative book — an easy read with valuable information for anyone entering the life-changing transition of divorce.

–Vicki Carpel-Miller, Collaborative Professional and Trainer, Author of “Just Stop!” series, “Secondhand Shock,” “Surviving and Overcoming Vicarious Trauma,” & “Secondhand Shock Workbook.”

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“The Collaborative Divorce Advantage” offers wise counsel and a truly adult approach to ending a marriage or long-term relationship, especially when children are involved. A must-read for divorcing couples and therapists on the front lines with couples contemplating divorce.

– Judith Stevens-Long, Ph.D., Malcolm Knowles Chair in Adult Learning and Development at Fielding Graduate University, Santa Barbara; Author of “Adult Life: Developmental Processes.”

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Don’t miss reading this small gem if you want a constructive divorce that lays the groundwork for loving parenting, and the healthy co-parenting of your children as you move forward! 

– Paul Ross, Best-selling Author of “How to Profit from Your Divorce,” shares how to put family and children unconditionally first. Paul-Ross.com